October 3

This is going to be a really downer of a post. It's just been like that the last few days.

I think we're doing the right things with our kids, but it sure doesn't feel that way today. I printed out a packet for the kids to fill out during general conference. Then I had a little craft ready for something fun to do together between sessions and when they'd finished their packets. But there were fights and tantrums during conference, mostly by Aaron. And then there continues to be fights and messes and tantrums now that conference is over. They liked the craft, but it lasted 10 minutes and now we have cute little pumpkins and ghosts in the middle of a destroyed kitchen. I really pray that when we're old and look back we'll be able to say it was hard, but we were obedient and the kids knew what was important even though it was crazy at the time.

Aaron's tantrums have been bad again. Plus I was tired this week, which meant a horrible couple of days for us. Some days he doesn't ever even talk to me. Every communication is yelling or whining. I feel like nothing is working. His bad tantrums started when he was three. He turns five in two weeks. I've been yelled at for two years. I'm sure I perpetuate things with him though because I'm not as consistent as I should be. Like today, I told the kids they could participate in the craft if they finish their packet. But 3/4 of the way through conference Aaron wasn't finished and didn't want to do it. So then I was faced with a decision like I have most days: do I stick with what I said and not let him do the craft, because that's what I said would be the consequence and then I'd have to deal with a major meltdown and tantrum. Or should I just let him do the craft because it would be easier. So many times I pick the easier way because I just can't put up with another tantrum and some days he would be punished all day long. Thankfully, today, Danny chose to help Aaron finish his packet and Aaron responded well to his help and they got it done so I didn't have to make a choice. But I really feeling like I'm failing that boy a lot of the time. It's a really crappy feeling.

And then Danny and Rachel don't get near the amount of attention they should from me because I'm so drained from dealing with Aaron. So that adds to my guilt. Seth mostly gets enough attention because he's so cute and easy and because he still needs me to do so many things for him. But I worry that once the baby comes, he'll get overlooked a lot because he is so easy-going and because then I'll have a tiny baby and still have Aaron, that will take all my energy.

And I can't breathe, and I'm enormous and tired and sick of not being able to do all the things I want and need to because I'm eight months pregnant. Ok, I think I've complained about everything. Now I can move on. Just keeping it real, I guess.

Conference has been great. A talk I really needed was by Elder Uchtdorf about simplifying our lives and focusing on what's most important, especially when times are hard. I've been thinking about how things are going to be with the new baby and Seth and Aaron, and possibly moving. And I think I'll really need to rely on the advice in that talk during the next few months.

Bob is such an amazing husband. I can't believe how much he does for me and how patient and helpful he is. Even though I've been tired and grumpy so much of the time with this pregnancy.

September 26

We had a great time at California Adventures this week. It wasn't very crowded at all. The longest wait time was 10 minutes, which was great because the kids get really whiney if they have to wait too long. We got to ride everything and several things lots of times. It was really hot, though. We were there from 10 to 6:30.

Seth took a 1 hour nap, but was happy all day. He had a great time in the Monsters Inc ride, which we did four times. And he loved the parade. We were buddies throughout the day because between him being less than 40 inches and me being pregnant, we weren't allowed on many of the rides.

Rachel was our dare devil and loved all the scary rides. Her favorite was the California Screamin Roller Coaster that goes upside down. She also went on the tower of terror three times--more than Danny did.

Danny was a trooper and never complained about walking everywhere. His favorite was the California Screamin Roller Coaster too. Danny and Rachel went on it together. Bob was going to go with them, but that would make one of the kids have to ride by themselves, so he just let them go together. I was a little worried about that, but they did great.

Aaron was brave too and loved everything. His favorite was Mullholland Madness, a fun roller coaster that had no wait at all; so they rode it at least 5 times. The kids also loved going in the redwood forest where they had a zipline that never had a wait, so every time we walked by they went in and rode it a few times.

The day was harder on me being pregnant than I thought it would be. I made sure I was drinking all day long, but by about 4:00 I started having contractions and had to sit for a while, but that was while Seth slept so it worked well. My back is still a little sore, but it was still worth it to go. It was fun to spend time together visiting such a fun place.

I had a doctor appointment on Thursday. I'm 32 weeks, but she said I measured more like 30 weeks. I've never had a doctor tell me that. But I was thinking she must be smaller than the other babies because she can really move and spin around in there. But I also remember thinking that Rachel moved more than Danny did. So maybe my girls are just smaller than the boys. I'll go back in 2 weeks because I'm getting close to the end. It'll be interesting to see if she catches up, or if she stays small. I'm getting excited to meet her.

We heard yesterday that the bank did the appraisal on Debbie's house. It was good to hear things are moving and not just sitting somewhere waiting. But it still should be another month until we hear from the bank with a counter offer. But we're still excited for the prospect of more room. The kids talk all the time about who is going to get their own room.

September 19

It was a a hard week with Aaron this week. I was hoping school and a routine would help more, but it's pretty much the same. And the teasing and fighting between Aaron and Danny that got pretty bad over the summer, hasn't gone away much either. I started having "TT's" (tantrum talks) with Aaron a couple of weeks ago. When we used to go meet with Paula, it seemed to help, but it costs so much and Aaron said he didn't want to go to her any more, so the idea for TTs came to me one night when I was praying. We have them once a week and for just 5 or 10 minutes. We talk about things that trigger Aaron or different ways we can help the tantrums. He used to freak out every time he got hungry because he couldn't decide what to eat. So for one of the TTs we brainstormed about all the ideas for snacks we have and put pictures of them on the fridge. That one has really helped the tantrums over food.

He had been making a little progress, but this week was a set back week. I'm not sure what made the difference, but he was having constant tantrums and yelling at me from Sunday to Wednesday. Wednesday night I just broke down, it's so stressful to watch him be so upset and to be yelled at so much of the day. I had the same thought I had about him when he was four or five months old: "What does he have to be so upset about all the time". It makes me sad that he's unhappy so much of the time. I had that thought about him when he was a baby and I took him to the doctor. That's when they gave him reflux medicine and it helped a lot, but he was still a little grumpier than my other babies were. So my new plan is to just spend more time with Aaron. I had been working on websites for two hours every day when Seth has his nap. That worked really well during the summer. But now the older kids are at school then and it leaves Aaron to hang out by himself. So I've been trying to spend that time playing with Aaron and finding other times to work. It seems to be helping a little.

The boys started soccer this week. They both liked it. And Bob started coaching Aaron's team. And it's started cooling down a little, so we go outside and ride bikes and scooters every night. The kids love it.

We go to California Adventures this Thursday. We're just leaving Thurs after school and going to the Park all day Friday and driving home that night. So it'll be quick and hopefully easy.

We told our kids about the house we want to buy this week. They were all really excited. We weren't sure if we wanted to tell them because it's such a long process where nothing happens for a long time. But we didn't want anyone else to say anything to them, so we decided it would be better for us to tell them first.

September 12

Last weekend we were at my mom's and then at Ryan's because it was Labor Day weekend. We took the kids out of school early on Friday and drove to my mom's. Ryan was there too. Saturday morning most of the adults went to the grape harvest and then when they were done Venessa and I and the kids drove up to Fresno and met them at the waterslides. Our kids loved it! Danny and Rachel went on some of the big slides, but also loved the wave pool. They had a huge kiddie area with pretty big slides and Aaron got brave enough to go to the top and he rode those for hours. They even had a little slide that Seth had a great time on. He slid down that and ran back around and climbed up to do it again for at least an hour. It was fun to watch him be so excited about it. He wasn't very good at waiting his turn when other kids came to use it, though, he'd just try to sneak by them in line.

We stayed in Visalia that night and went to church and then drove to where Ryan will live. He's staying with friends now while he still waits for his short sale to close. So we went there and ate and walked to the park by his house. The next day we went to the lake by his house. It was nice, but so crowded for Labor day. We left after lunch and came home.

The weekend before that was just a really busy Sunday. I had to meet with the Beehives to plan some things and we got invited to dinner at the Simpson's house. We also had a family meeting where Bob gave the kids blessings before school started. It was a great meeting. The kids all feel the importance of those blessings. A few days before, Danny had reminded us of those blessings and asked if we'd be doing them before school this year. I also talked to Aaron before our meeting and told him the blessings were special and Dad would say things that Heavenly Father and Jesus wanted to say to him. He was really excited. After his blessing and said, "I heard Jesus!" The kids all said they could feel the spirit and wrote about it in their journals the next night at FHE.

The kids all started school just fine. Danny has Mrs. Wolfe for third grade. I think we'll both really like her. She seems like a fun, good teacher. He likes his class and knows some of the boys in there already. He settled in really quickly this year. Danny was also asked to be tested for the GATE program this year. Rachel has Mr. Esquibel for second grade. He seems pretty good. He really likes to play the guitar, so if he brings music into the class I think Rachel will really like it. This is her first year not being with Jaclyn. She's doing just fine. She's making new friends and having fun. She's likes to be responsible and organized about her homework. She's fun to watch with it. She also loves to get dressed for school. She comes out in cute outfits with her hair done. She even asked to have her hair curled one morning. She used to hate it when I'd try to spend more than two minutes on her hair. Aaron started preschool with Miss Kathy. Rachel went there for preschool too. She's wonderful. Aaron is really liking it. She keeps the kids more active than his last teacher did and I think he needs that. He's also excited because Miss Kathy said if he does the homework program this year, he'll be reading by the end of the year. Aaron was really excited about learning to read. Seth had a hard time when the kids left. He cried several times when they got out of the car and he didn't.

We made an offer on the house we want! They listed the house for sale on September 1. We met with the realtor just after that and filled out all the paperwork to make an offer. We offered $225,000. They wanted the house to be on the market a few days, but she had our paperwork ready and was going to close the listing after the weekend, but there was one couple who seemed really interested in the house, so before they could make an offer, the agent closed the listing early. Now the papers are all submitted to the bank and it sounds like we have to wait a couple of months before we hear much. We're so excited. That house has so many great things about it. Debbie said they got a blessing that said their short sale would go through smoothly. So I hope it goes through smoothly with us.

August 22

Only one week until school starts. We're all getting excited. We've gone shoe and clothes shopping. We just need to do school supplies and lunch boxes this week. I had fun going school shopping for Rachel this time because she's starting to care a little about what she looks like and wants to get cute things, not just comfortable things.

We had sickness at our house this week. I took Danny to the dr on Monday and he had a sinus infection. Then I took Seth in Wednesday for an ear infection. Now I have an eye infection and maybe sinus infection. I need to go in tomorrow. Also Seth has a well check tomorrow so I'll get 2 doctor appointments tomorrow and all three kids go to the dentist in the afternoon. The good thing about all the appointments we've had is that school is still out so I can get a babysitter to come watch the kids who don't have to go to the doctor.

Hopefully we'll all get healthy and be able to do more fun things this week before school starts. We'd like to go to the Springs Preserve and Silver Mesa one more time.

We signed both boys up for soccer. Aaron misses the deadline to play by two weeks. But if Bob coached, they'd let him play. So Bob signed up. And Danny is going to be his assistant. So all the boys are excited. And I'm going to sign Rachel up for Tennis tomorrow. Jaclyn is going to do it to. Hopefully she'll have fun with it and not complain that it's too hard or makes her legs hurt.

Seth went to his second nursery today. He doesn't like it. He cries like crazy as soon as we leave. I hope he gets over that soon.

August 15

Last weekend we were at Bryce canyon for the Woolley family reunion. Everyone came to our house on Thursday and then we all drove to Zions and rode the tram and did the little hike to the entrance of the Narrows. We played in the water and had lunch and then walked back. Then we continued on to Bryce. We had cabins rented the first night. We had a campfire and the kids ran around with cousins. The next day it rained and was cold most of the day. Bob and my siblings and their spouses tried to hike in Bryce canyon, but they got really wet. We went swimming in the indoor pool and we hung out under the pavilion with everyone and tried to stay warm. That night it cleared up and we sat around the campfire and listened to the brothers and grandma Donna share memories and watched some family movies on the projector. That night we slept in Teepees. Seth did really well in the cabin, but not so much in the teepee. Sunday we got up and had breakfast then drove home. Everyone came back to our house Monday for Girls Day. We went shopping, had massages and went to see a show. I just did the shopping though. That was our last trip of the summer, though, so it's a little sad that summer is getting over. We still need to go to Disneyland in the next month, though, to use our free tickets.

We have sickness going around our family again. Danny and Rachel got sick on Wednesday. Rachel got better quickly, but Danny has had fevers and is still a little sick. Today I'm home with all the kids from church. Seth got it Friday night and Aaron woke up this morning with a runny nose. Rachel is the only one who isn't sick, but they were all playing so well this morning that I let her stay home too and only Bob went. We watched "The Testaments" movie while Seth was having his nap instead.

Friday night was the Daddy Daughter campout. Rachel and Bob had a good time. The boys and I had a boy party at home. We went to Blockbuster and got Star Wars Episode 1. We got slushies at Circle K and had macaroni and cheese for dinner. Then we watched the movie and had candy and popcorn.

Bob and I keep telling Rachel that she can't get any older, but she isn't obeying. We sure love her. She is such a kind, fun, beautiful girl. She loves to be with her family and friends, she's always thinking of things she can create and she has such a strong testimony and sense of who she is.

Rachel turned seven on Saturday. She had a birthday party at our house again this year. The girls had pizza and cupcakes and made bracelets. Bob loved his young audience and was cracking jokes all over the place. And the girls thought he was hilarious. Bob was in heaven! He also entertained by playing "rolling log" with them and letting all the little girls jump over him.

Between all her grandparents and friends, Rachel ended up raking in over $100 this year. And she is not a saver. So after her party, Rachel and I went to Target. She wasn't interested in saving any of her money, she knew exactly what she wanted: a huge hamster house for her zhu zhu hamsters. The kids have all been playing with it constantly since it was set up.

We're still just waiting to find out more about Debbie's house. They won't even list it for a few weeks and then we need to see if anyone will put a better offer than ours. I'll just have to be patient. Because then even if we get to put our offer in, we'll still have to wait months to see if the banks approve.

August 1

We stayed at Mandalay Bay this week on Thursday night. We had a great time. The kids and I checked in at 3 and Bob came straight from work just a little after that. We went down to the pools then. They have a wave pool, kid pool and lazy river. There was something for everyone. And Seth loved it too. All summer he's tolerated swimming, but never had much fun and never lasts more than 45 minutes. But he was great the whole 2 1/2 hours we were there. Then we went back to our room and ate PB sandwiches and got a pay per view kid movie. We went to bed about 9:00. The next morning we got up and ate and were back at the pool at 8:00. We swam until 10:30 and then went back and got dressed and checked out. Everyone fell asleep on the way home.

Monday night we went to another 51s baseball game. This time we left a little later and it just wasn't as hot that day, so it was much more enjoyable. They have $1 food at the concession stand on Mondays; the kids thought that was great. Seth has discovered that he can run out of the grassy area, though. So he's not so easy to keep with us.

We went yesterday to the party store to get things for Rachel's birthday. She is definitely her own person. We went down the girly isle and she chose fish for her plates and cups, but they didn't have any invitations. So I talked her into some pretty pink butterfly ones. Then she decided she didn't want to do a pinata, she just wanted to do gift bags. So we went down the little trinket isle to pick things to go in the bags. I pointed out some glitter bracelets and necklaces and other things; but she chose rubber snakes--that's all. She just wants snakes and candy in the bags. I love that girl.

We met with Heidi, the realtor, this week. Things are still looking positive. We qualified for the loan amount we'll need and we kept getting compliments on our credit score. That felt nice. They are going to start the selling process at the end of August because if they start before that they think there's a chance it'll go through before Christmas and neither of us want that. And they have to open the house up for other offers at that time, but the realtor will try to deter that. So hopefully no one will put a better offer than ours. And we'll just wait now for the next month and see what happens in September.